A friend of mine has an awesome love story.
For ages, she was convinced dating was not worth the trouble. She’d endured some truly disastrous online dates and hadn’t met anyone she wanted to see twice. She’d attended singles events and a couple times met a guy she was super into, but not one who stuck around. She was just done.
Then one January she decided to hell with it, this was her year to have fun. She decided to do all the fun stuff she’d been putting off. She toured waterfalls in Costa Rica. She went on hikes and bike rides she’d always wanted to do at home. She started digging the hell out of her life.
6 months into her year of fun and bam, her guy showed up.
So start having more fun and you’ll be married by summer! Haha, that's not exactly what I'm saying. We all know there’s no “quick fix” for finding love. But what if there's a magic formula?
Half way in to my friend’s year of fun we were getting a cup of coffee and she told me she was considering going online again. I asked her: Are you ready for whatever shows up? Are you ready to choose what feels most like love, no matter what? I don't know, she said, but I'm wiling to try. BRING IT.
3 *days* later she met her guy. Literally. 3 days.
It doesn’t always happen that instantly, I know. It can be scary getting back out there again, not knowing what you'll encounter. You might fear you’re not ready for more love lessons. But you don’t have to be ready. Just willing.
Be willing to see what wants to show up. Be willing to use each encounter as another opportunity to choose what feels like love.
Is this “The Secret”? The “Law of Attraction”? Maybe. I’m not exactly sure how those work. What I know is what I’ve seen over and over. Shower love on your life + be willing = bam, magic.
If you’re feeling stuck because no one is showing up, or you’ve found a guy you’re afraid is not going to commit, try following the magic formula. Plan a little adventure for yourself. Get moving and shaking and doing something you’ve always wanted to do. And then say a little prayer of willingness.
You won’t have long to wait.
P.S. If you want to be willing, but something is holding you back, coaching can seriously help. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll set up a session at my introductory rate. Let's make some magic.
Jen Mallinger is a trained Martha Beck Life Coach. A former boy chaser, hopeless romantic, survivor of the dating desert, and highly sensitive intimacy avoider, she is now married to the greatest guy ever. She loves sharing insights and action-steps for those looking for love and reciprocity in relationships.